Pajamma's

I have no clue why the title of this blog is pajamma's except that maybe I really want to go put mine on? However, I'm much too lazy for that. Instead, I'll blog!! I've really got no ideas to blog about this wonderfully, breezy Saturday evening, so it'll just be randomness. Can ya dig it?

I've just finished reading the first two book is Stieg Larson's "The girl.." books. They are awesome!! I am drooling to get my hands on the third, but it's not being released here in the states 'til May 25th! Thank goodness Ju has a pal across the pond who was kind enough to send her their version and she's a swell gal and is going to let me borrow it! Now I've just got to be patient until she's done....

My kid is the cutest kid. He is now doing summersaults on the bed and then bursting into hysterical belly-giggles. That's the stuff that makes all the sleepless nights, temper-tantrums and scream-filled car rides all worth it. Little knucklehead.

My Grandpa rocks. Check out this story about him. Griff and I went to my Moms to hang out with The Bopster today. He is not feeling so hot and it makes me really sad. But he still can eat up some silver bells. That's fo sho.

I really love having friends over for dinner. Especially when I don't have to do the cooking. I am one spoiled little lady, for all those of you who didn't already know that. Larry cooked up some yumtastic (that word goes out to my homey Patrick) grub. Jerk chicken, firecracker shrimp, grilled asparagus and couscous. YUMMMMMMMM!

I think I need my gallbladder taken out. I am serious. To all of you who are shaking your head and mocking my hypochondriacal nature right now, hush up. You'll all feel bad when I'm right and then you'll have to bring me homemade chicken noodle soup.

Larry dropped-in the deep end of the pool. He's really stoked. Jeff was threatening to tell on him. That part makes me laugh. I am really stoked, too. That's pretty rad stuff.

Ever since I had Griffin, anything and everything makes me cry. I had it bad before, but good grief! This is getting ridiculous.

I am now going to get those pajammas, friends. Good night all and as always, thanks for reading!

~m.

Try, try and try again.

I recently met up with two old friends from high school. One lives in New York and has a little wild man near about G's age (actually only about two weeks younger)! We chatted briefly about Mom stuff and baby stuff and then we talked about our blogs. Except I didn't have much to say except that I am the slackest blogger that possibly blogs. (Does that even make any sense?) Anyhoo, so Amber and I shared blog addresses and other high-tech ways to contact one another and I then proceeded to make a (sort-of) promise. While I didn't say "I promise", I did say "I will" update my blog every Sunday so we can stay in contact. Now I am really bad with time, but I am fairly sure I have let SEVERAL weeks go by without even one new Sunday post. On my or Griffin's blog.

How slack is that!?

I am now going to try really hard to do this. I mean, every Sunday. How hard is that? I can take 20 minutes to post a little something or a little picture or a funny quip of the day, right?

I sho is gonna try.

And for today I thought I would take a minute to relay something that is making me nuts: these crappy allergies! Man, I cannot breathe or stop sneezing! And poor little man has some red rimmed eyes himself. He seems to have inherited more than just Momma's allergies.

That leads me to another thing (geeez, I'd forgotten how easy this whole blogging thing is!)! G-man is finally saying Momma! It is the best sound in the whole entire world. He says it mostly after he gives me those sweet little kisses of his. That's his other new thing: holding Momma's cheeks and smooching away. Man, that is just the best thing ever!

Til next Sunday (and don't hold me to that to strictly, ok?)

~m.

A Great Day

Today was one of those days that makes your heart swell.

Have you had one of those days? Where you smile inside and out? At just about anything?

Well that was today. We went to Holly Hill, where my Grandparents live. It was my Grandfather's "Boppy" birthday this past Tuesday and almost the entire family drove down, over and up today to help him do some yard work. Boppy used to have the most beautiful yard. It is still quite nice but he began losing his sight about 10 years ago and he hasn't been able to work in the yard like he's used to for a number of years. We gathered this morning with our shovels and rakes, edgers and mowers, trimmers and gloves and went to work. And man did we work hard. All day. And when he got home Lar and I walked him around the house and described all the things we'd done and where all the pine straw was piled and which shrubs we'd trimmed or left. It was a wonderful thing to be with my family and to be doing something that was so appreciated.

As I worked around in the yard that day, I had little memories that came back to me here and there and my heart just swelled with love for my family.

I remember swinging as high as I could on the old, now rusted swing set with Boppy pushing my lightly as I screamed "higher Boppy, higher!!".

I remembered getting paid a nickel for picking up pine cones during the fall months. A nickel! (And just so you know, Boppy can't see much but he can tell if there are any dadgum pine cones in the yard!).

I remembered Boppy always asking us if we "wanted to go behind the woodshed" when we were acting up. I never had to go back there and I was sure afraid of what was back there. Even today, as I was loading garden tools back into that old shed I had a twinge of fear for what was behind it. It sits open in the yard and looks back onto the neighbors Camilias and Azaleas but I still won't wander back there.

After we all got cleaned up we went out for the world's best Barbeque (Anthony Bourdain agrees so it must be true). Riding there I was sitting in the back and Griffin was flirting with his Momma like the sweet little Angel he is. He loves Eskimo Kisses these days and he was smiling and giggling and melting my heart with each slight curl of his lips and little brush of his nose. I sometimes can't believe how much I love him.

It's the most amazing thing to love someone that much. And I am so grateful for him every day.

So grateful for every day that he makes my heart swell and my mind fill the sweetness of love. I am grateful for family and giving a great gift to someone who is always appreciative no matter what you are giving.

Love you Boppy and love you family. All of you.

~m.

The Cats Meow

Well seein' as how this blog began as a way for me to keep everyone posted on the cancer shmancer situation, I suppose I ought' ta tell you about my most recent scan. I am still having them every six months and they are still the bane of my existence. It seems that just about the time (approximately every 5 months and 3 weeks) I start relaxing and getting on with my new cancer-free life, LOW AND BEHOLD my electronic brain (cause I lost large chunks to chemo and even larger chunks to baby so nothin' sticks) dings to remind me it's time for another scan. And then I start to freak. Just a little, but freak I do.

This last scan was probably the worst in a while. I think waking up that morning and getting myself ready while my little man sat watching me, smiling and saying "cooo" and "guh guh" and giggling at Pharis made me scared. It made me scared for the what ifs. The what ifs, well, no need to go there today. It's no secret what the what ifs are. They are pretty simple. And right now life is simple and I like that much better than all those stinky, anxiety-producing what ifs.

I love waking up to a teeny, slobbery mouth attempting to eat my nose like some warm apple pie.

I love snuggling a sleeping baby in the rocking chair while he sighs without a care in the world.

I love watching a Daddy and His Boy giggle at one another with pure delight.

I DON'T love getting my blood drawn and my veins filled with 'dye' and my stomach filled with Barium Sulphate. Those things I do not love at all.

This particular morning I awoke, as I said above, with my panties in a real wad, if you will. I was not a happy girl and could hardly get myself showered, dressed and ready. I had not planned ahead. I had not asked anyone to go with me. I was scared shitless (sorry Mom). I thought I would be fine while getting the scan and Mom would meet me there for the results (thank Pete they don't make you wait ages and ages and tell you within a decent amount of time). But as I got into the car, I just couldn't do it. But I called Mom to formulate a plan of timing her arrival so she would miss the least amount of time from work - determined to be a big girl and 'handle it'. Well handle it I did not. I fell apart. I cried and sobbed and blubbered. And my Mom said "Shug, I am coming. Now. I will meet you there". And so then I cried some more. And arrived and my Momma was there. I was a lot less scared. A lot. She sat with me and waited on me and drank some coffee with me (when I was finally allowed to drink or eat!) and chatted while we waited for the new doc (Dr. M) to give us the news. Thank Pete for my Momma. No CLUE what I would do with out her. Momma - you are the bees knees. The cats pajamas. The BEST MOM IN THE WORLD.

All that said - the next thing was waiting for the new and buddy, that is torturous! But thankfully, as all of my post scans have been, it was clean. A little question that my OB is going to look at but other than that, we are all good. So now for 5 months and 3 weeks I can get back to being me. Cancer free me. Mom me. Wife me and all the me's there are. So I am gonna get on that. First step of this evening? Get my fanny in the bed. Thanks for listening.

~m.

Quickie

So I forgot how much I enjoy blogging. I realize I do that every time. I will blog and blog and come here and vent or scream or brag or whatever and then I will forget and abandon my poor blog for no good reason other than being lazy.

Well not tonight. I am waiting for the DVR to get a little ways into Grey's so I can avoid the commercials and find out who it is since it isn't George and I said to myself, "self, go blog real quick and complain about the numbskulls you dealt with today". So here I is. Gonna do some complaining for a hot minute until I can miss at least one commercial or so....

Today I went to talk with the Mother and boyfriend of a young lady I work with. She's got some issues and lord-a-mercy so do they. I was just awe struck at this Mother and what she DID NOT want for her child. Like for example, a HIGH SCHOOL EDUCATION. Or the ability to get a decent job and take care of herself. I felt like crying, screaming and choking this woman all at the same time! It was truly appalling. I continue to be amazed at the human beings I encounter in this crazy line of work I have decided to make my career. I rode all the way home from Aiken today wondering how in the world I will continue to do this year after year or even day after day.

And then I thought of a little girl I work with now who is already making great strides in her life just from my helping the people in her life understand her needs a little better. And another kid who figured out how to see himself as someone who CAN instead of someone who CAN'T and he helped his football team score a touchdown for the first time ever! Things like that make day to day craziness and parents-who-need-not-have-ever-been-parents a little more tolerable. I know that tomorrow I can get up and start all over because there are good things in the world and good people and good food and good books and good music and good all around us. I caught myself saying in the car today "there is just so much wrong in the world". I hope everyone can find something to help them shake that feeling when it settles in and say, "but there is also so much right and beautiful and wonderful and yummy and delicious and loverly and fabulous.

Maybe my next blog will be me making a list of some of those wonderfully fabulous things. We'll see about that. For now, I am going to find out who the he$& is NOT GEORGE!!!

Love and smooches,

~m.

Holy Smokes!

It has been ages and ages since I last wrote a blog. What has been going on? Well I would imagine that you all have a good idea. Today Griffin is 7 months old and quite a wild man. He is sitting up and wanting very much to be crawling but can't quite figure it out yet. He is also trying to pull up on everything but hasn't got quite enough strength. He is giggling at everything though and there are times when the three of us sit around and laugh and laugh and laugh. There is nothing like it. Hearing those little giggles and watching him get so excited that he squeals with delight. I love it!

We went away this weekend for a short little getaway with the Choplin crew - PJ, Mary Coker and Elliot. A friend Laura joined us as well and fun was had by all. But there was one thing most amazing about this weekend. Perhaps amazing isn't the best word to use but I had such a wonderful time with my little one. I realized for possibly the hundredth time since he arrived, that he is my favorite person in the world. There were a few times this weekend when I just took him out for a walk so I could have him all to myself. He is so smiley these days and loves to hug his Momma. A few times he and I went to sit down stairs (where it was nice and cool as the upstairs was HOTT!!) and we just laughed and played and it was the best stuff ever. Being a Mom is more than I could have ever imagined. There are times when just looking at that little monkey makes my heart wrench and my eyes fill with tears. This weekend held a few of those moments and they were wonderful. Better than wonderful. They were spectacular. I can't wait to continue watching Griffin grow and change and learn and giggle some more. And those giggles... :)

Here are two pics from this weekend:

VACATION!!

Well its summer time and beach, here we come! We usually don't head to the beach until July when we head down with the family. I have been making that same trip for my entire life and the last 26 years to the same house. In the beginning my entire family was there, but we have grown so much we have to split the trip up with two weeks and only some of us go. One of these days (when someone wins the lottery or my brother becomes a rich doctor - which ever happens first) we (or he) will buy a house large enough for all 29 of us to come. That would be something, I tell ya. A house full of crazy's. Whew.

Anyway, this vacation is with Ju and Steven, our favorite people from down Charleston way. They have rented an amazing house in Clearwater Florida (a place I have never visited!!) and invited the three of us down. Now, I have watched my cousins, aunts, Mom and other peoples pack for beach trips with kids. I have noted they carried enough stuff to sustain them for what I thought was surely a month (it was a week or less) and sniggered. Well snigger I should not have. I have been packing for days and still don't have it all. Trying to make sure I will take everything little man needs is not an easy task. (Don't ask about our first trip out of town with him - the only thing I remembered to pack for myself was underwear. Had to get a new toothbrush when we got there!). The worst part is, the house has almost everything one could need for a baby excepting the baby himself. I'm talkin the swings, monitors, boppy's, bumbo's, excersaucers (I am not making up any of those things, btw - they are all necessary baby items, just ask Larry). Our car will still be filled to the brim with all make and model of baby entertainment.

So now that we have him all packed and ready to go (and hopefully will remember at least bathing suits and toothbrushes for ourselves) we will begin the 8 hour journey (if we are lucky) to get there. Mind you, Griffin's longest car trip has been to and from Seneca, SC which is about 5 hours total. He slept most of the way there (it was nap time) and all the way home (it was waaay past bedtime). The trip we are about to take will span across all of those except bed time. Man, I am sooooooo hoping he does not decide to scream bloody murder the entire way there. If he does, Ju and Steven may be babysitting when we arrive while we bury our heads in the sand. Ok, teasing about that last part. Sort of.

Anyway, I will be back sometime in the near future to update you all on how this road trip goes. We have toys, a DVD player with tons of Baby Einstein's and some They Might be Giants in the hopes that we can keep him occupied.  We. Shall. See.  Wish us luck!

Here's a lil pic of the cowboy himself.  Ain't he cute?