Can you hear the music behind that? Well good! I am only one more treatment away from being finished with it all. I saw Doc C on Wednesday (I know, this is a little late) and he said "Officially" that all scans are clear, clean and sans any signs of the big "C". That being said, I got my passport out on Friday (WHEEEEEEEW) and after Monday's last radiation treatment, I don't have to see another cancer doctor until February 19th or something. That was the best news a girl could get! There is a small feeling of sadness however, weirdly enough, but I have come to feel sort of like family with all those people there at the office. I see them so regularly and talk with them so often, that not seeing them anymore kind of makes me nervous. I keep thinking does this mean that instantly I am supposed to feel normal and well and finished? Cause I really don't yet. It seems weird to think I will see no more doctors, yet I still have no hair, no period, no energy and numb fingertips. But, I know all those things will begin to subside (or come back as the case may be with a few) and my life will slowly return to normal. Yesterday was a great feeling though when they took that port out. I actually started to cry. As soon as he said, "alright, it's out!" the tears just started falling. The girls had to hand me a rag so I wouldn't cry all over the table! It was such a strange feeling, like I knew it has officially ended when my nemesis was removed!! I asked the doc if I could keep it (the most bizarre request I am sure he has had) and low and behold, he actually dropped it on the floor by accident into a bag and I found it on my way out the door! I have no earthly idea what I will do with it, but its mine. I might just stuff it in a drawer and never look at it again, or maybe I will make a necklace out of it. That made you cringe a little, didn't it? :) It just is the one tangible thing I have from this whole ordeal and it carries a huge meaning with it, as strange as it sounds. Anyway, me and my weird notions will move on to other news...
With life returning to normal (or as much as it can) Larry and I are so grateful for everything. We have been so supported through visits, emails, CARDS, and phone calls and could not have made it without all of it, without all of you. I am not sure I will know what to do with myself when this all ends, but at least I know I have the most incredible support group to call on. At least I hope you aren't all tired of hearing about Mary. Cause I just might need you a little while longer.
Love.
~m
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Sorry!
I promised a post when I had details about scans and when I started radiation and dawg-on-it, if I didn't forget and just leave you all hanging. Sorry!
So here's the deal...radiation is a breeze! I had all my scans on Monday and although I have not had the official reading by the Radiologist yet, Dr. C scrolled through them with me and said he saw nothing! That means chemo is done and there is officially no more trace of Mona (except that small scar she left behind and the clamps, wires and staples). So Tuesday, I started the radiation and it is fast and so far no real side effects. I drive over to SCOA everyday at 2:30, change into a gown and about the time I get my heiney planted into a chair and have a decent magazine to look at, they call my name back. I lay on a table (pretty much like for an x-ray) and they line me up with those fancy blue sharpie marks I told you all about, and then zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz they laser my front, move around to my back for about another 30 seconds, and that's it! It takes them longer to line me up than it does to actually laser me. So Monday thru Friday, I see my friends Sergio, Amanda and Kelly and a super nice little lady (she says she's 82, but I don't buy it) who is there with her daughter and that's it!
As for the side effects, I think I may have some psychosomatic one's including thinking that my throat is burning and that I am physically exhausted (that's what they told me to expect) but I think those may be attributed to my working all the time and allergies. So...as for now, I am just trying to get back to feeling like myself, watching my little bit of fuzz grow back and get this Lupron out of my system (that's the Menopause stuff that is supposed to be protecting my ovaries, but the only thing I am sure its doing is making me a crazy person with INSANE hot flashes). There is one upside, I have a new respect for all those women I see frantically fanning themselves! They say that should be out of my system about mid December. I am thinking that if that is not the case, people will suffer. Just teasing, kind of. Anyway, I am thinking that my last day of radiation is November 19th and then by Thanksgiving I should be all done!! Woooohooo! Hopefully they will have taken this stupid port out by then as well. I see Doc C again on the 14th and I am not leaving his office until he tells me when it comes out. See...there's that crazy person I told you about. You all thought I was kidding, didn't you?
Well, here is the update that I promised ages ago. Hope it was worth the wait. It sure was some good news and I am sorry I did not share it sooner. As for Lar and I, we are heading to a Halloween party tonight with some friends, so I must go get my costume together. Until next time...
Love.
~m
So here's the deal...radiation is a breeze! I had all my scans on Monday and although I have not had the official reading by the Radiologist yet, Dr. C scrolled through them with me and said he saw nothing! That means chemo is done and there is officially no more trace of Mona (except that small scar she left behind and the clamps, wires and staples). So Tuesday, I started the radiation and it is fast and so far no real side effects. I drive over to SCOA everyday at 2:30, change into a gown and about the time I get my heiney planted into a chair and have a decent magazine to look at, they call my name back. I lay on a table (pretty much like for an x-ray) and they line me up with those fancy blue sharpie marks I told you all about, and then zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz they laser my front, move around to my back for about another 30 seconds, and that's it! It takes them longer to line me up than it does to actually laser me. So Monday thru Friday, I see my friends Sergio, Amanda and Kelly and a super nice little lady (she says she's 82, but I don't buy it) who is there with her daughter and that's it!
As for the side effects, I think I may have some psychosomatic one's including thinking that my throat is burning and that I am physically exhausted (that's what they told me to expect) but I think those may be attributed to my working all the time and allergies. So...as for now, I am just trying to get back to feeling like myself, watching my little bit of fuzz grow back and get this Lupron out of my system (that's the Menopause stuff that is supposed to be protecting my ovaries, but the only thing I am sure its doing is making me a crazy person with INSANE hot flashes). There is one upside, I have a new respect for all those women I see frantically fanning themselves! They say that should be out of my system about mid December. I am thinking that if that is not the case, people will suffer. Just teasing, kind of. Anyway, I am thinking that my last day of radiation is November 19th and then by Thanksgiving I should be all done!! Woooohooo! Hopefully they will have taken this stupid port out by then as well. I see Doc C again on the 14th and I am not leaving his office until he tells me when it comes out. See...there's that crazy person I told you about. You all thought I was kidding, didn't you?
Well, here is the update that I promised ages ago. Hope it was worth the wait. It sure was some good news and I am sorry I did not share it sooner. As for Lar and I, we are heading to a Halloween party tonight with some friends, so I must go get my costume together. Until next time...
Love.
~m
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